No Pain, No Gain

**Disclaimer**

This blog post is ALL over the place. I had a road I was going down when I first started typing that ended up going down other avenues. I promise it is worth the read though. :)

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"No Pain, No Gain"

You've heard that before, I'm sure.

I have heard it about a million times. Every time I heard that statement I would respond with rolling my eyes and thinking, "Whatever". But it's true!

I am here, posting today, to unfortunately report that EVERY thing that you have ever been told, all the motivating statements, all the possibly unwanted advice, all the old adages, THEY. ARE. TRUE.

Drink More Water

Eat Your Vegetables

It'll Get Easier

Just Keep Going

JUST DO IT.

It's beyond frustrating to think of the time I have spent thinking that all those statements are silly... I mean, duh, I get it. I eat vegetables (with loads of salt and butter and fat). I drink a lot of water (but I'm not eating cleaner/leaner).

This whole process, losing weight, feeling better, eating leaner, working out.... it's a process. It's something that you have to want. I FINALLY GOT IT! I have tried and tried before (I thought) but it's something that truly works together when you get the pieces right.

Anyway... *getting off soap box*

All that to say.... I hurt. I hurt a lot. I have muscles hurting that I didn't even know I had! Obliques, lower abs, shoulders, muscles in my legs that I didn't know were there... all hurt. But it's AWESOME! It makes me feel like I'm doing good things, ya know? I'm even becoming one of THOSE work out people...

You know... the ones that wear work out clothes EVEN when not working out. Now granted, for me that's just either some soft lounge pants/capris and a t-shirt... but still.... I'm wanting to wear those clothes ALL the time. I do find, however, that when I wear those clothes, I WANT to move and become active EVEN when I'm trying to "rest" that day.

Also, and this is weird... but, whatever...

I have become much more aware of silly things I do when working out. For example, I'm holding my breath when I'm working out.... WHY?! Also... and this makes me feel like a goober... but I notice that when I'm working out I also like, roll my tongue. I don't know why I do that!

Does anyone else have any weird quirks or things you noticed yourself doing after/while you work(ed) out?

OH... and quick photo comparison. (Because I never SEE changes in the mirror I often take pictures to see what has changed each month).

Everyone should remember this from mid-December...

For those that may not be familiar, this was the first photo I took after losing the initial amount of weight and getting measured for the first time - about 25 or so pounds and 27.5 inches lost total.

**holy cow... I have cheekbones?!**

This photo was taken yesterday, January 25th, 2012. As I was getting ready for work I kinda felt like I looked "different". I actually met with my trainer yesterday... I've lost a total of 35 pounds and 50 inches. Just gotta keep on keeping on!

Runners Aren't Fat.

So.... the title may be a bit harsh... but it's true!

Think about it. Runners are always toned, healthy, agile and able. At least that's what I see when I view runners.

I want to run. I mean, looking at me, I obviously don't project that image. However, I have ALWAYS been jealous of those who run... those who LIKE to run. I especially seem to get the urge to run when it's cold. To me it just makes sense. Adrenaline is pumping, cold air against what little exposed skin there is and the sweat that forms won't make you want to pass out AS badly. Again, this is at least what I think/envision.

On the topic of envisioning a runner, in my head, I... ME... I can run! I can run down the road and back. I can run down to the other end of the street, make the block, run back and be home again. Alas, I have never run. Well, not in my adult life. I ran in kickball (when I was chosen), I ran when playing Red Rover (flashbacks of being clothes-lined... not fun). Other than that, no running.

Let's also remember real quick that I'm STILL at a plateau.

SO. Last night, I decided BECAUSE runners aren't fat.... and I don't want to be fat... that *cue light bulb flashing above my head* I should start running!

I. was. scared.

But, well, I did it. Mostly.

I started the Couch to 5k program. I let my self-consciousness of people watching me at the gym overpower my mind and never did actually "jog". Did I walk really really fast to the point that I was essentially/could have possibly jogged? -- Yes.

I figure if I complete Week 1 at this fast walking/not jog, I will just do Week 1 again -- Self-Consciousness be gone!

So. There we are. I'm headed down the running path. I'm determined. I'm scared. I'm sore.

I also did Zumba about 20 minutes after finishing the first Week walk/jog.

Endorphins make me crazy.

Tips, stories, thoughts? --- I appreciate YOU for reading and your comments. Always. :)

Plateau... OH NO!

Well... the inevitable has happened.

I'm pretty sure I'm at a plateau.

RAWRRRR

BUT. I've been thinking of all the things that rhyme with plateau. Which, is funny, since plateau is an odd word to spell (Not going to lie... I had to make sure I was spelling it correctly before I began this post).

Phrases That Rhyme with Plateau:

Oh.No!

Grow.

Got's to go!

I knew it was going to happen. I KNEW I was going to plateau. I have heard it time and time again. I have also heard, "Just keep going", "Just keep moving", "Just keep doing what you're doing... it'll work itself out".

I believe that is truth... I promise.

But I am so scared that I'm just stuck for good... that 30 pounds down is all that is going to happen. SOMEONE talk some sense into me! I've been at the same number on the scale (give or take a pound or so) for almost 2 weeks now...

So... I began to amp things up a little more. I had been doing my at home metabolism retraining exercises my trainer gave me... but I just get bored with doing them at home... standing in one spot as I look at my Christmas tree (I haven't had a chance to box it up yet... don't hate). I wish I had a bigger place so that I could just exercise, amp up the music... oh... and a treadmill... I want a treadmill.

ANYway... so I started by buying protein powder. Umm... a little skim milk... a little water... a little protein and a pulse or two from the blender and it's DELICIOUS! Mmmm chocolately protein goodness.

THEN, I decided to FINALLY go to Zuuuuuuumba!

Zumba is going to (and is already) change my life.

I have never been SO excited about working out. I have never wanted to get my heart beating. I have never wanted to sweat, to stretch, to literally, feel the burn. It's awesome!

So, this week, I have gone to two Zumba classes. I have drank 3 protein shakes. I have stayed at the same number on the scale.

I HAVEN'T gotten depressed... I HAVEN'T stressed out to the point that I've resorted to eating badly (more on that on a later post). But, I am getting concerned.

I'm moving. I'm not eating junk. I'm getting protein to rebuild muscles.

WHEN does the plateau end? Any advice/suggestions/encouragement would be great.

Christmas and Choices and Training.... oh my.

Oh Christmas... How fun and exciting you are. And tempting. Damn you temptations!

Most times, and as I'd assume it would be for most this time of year, the temptations with the sweets, all the starches, all the FOOD abounds. I was tempted, so many times... and gave in. I mean, the ham, the dressing, the potatoes and sugar cookies... It was hard. I did eat. I had to. I knew, however, that I could not go crazy.

I am happy to report, that I did not go crazy. Did I "cheat"? Yes. But I did not go overboard. Hooray!

Small victory.

I was SO scared that I'd blown my efforts and that I had gained all the weight back. Call me crazy, because I know that it is impossible to regain 30 pounds in a 4-5 day time frame. But I felt like my snacking was going to kick me in the end. Without getting into details, let's just say my body was not happy. The good news, it's like my body is so accustomed to the good stuff I've been feeding it, that when I happened to overindulge, I was quick to notice that I didn't need to do it again.

And then, I came back home. And my trainer called me. And I thought "Well, I can't lie to her... or myself." I decided to just go ahead, bite the bullet and make an appointment for this morning to see her.

The good news? I weighed the same as I did a week ago before the Christmas holiday! The EXACT same.... down to the ounce. I was ecstatic! Would I have preferred to lose something, well of course... but I hadn't gained so that's a plus!

This morning I also decided to REALLY kick off the at home exercise routine I had been given to retrain my metabolism. It.kicked.my.butt. Hard.

The sad thing is that the training is to get my heart rate going, get my metabolism retrained to actually DO something and get my body moving. It's no more than jogging in place, jumping jacks and other simple exercises to complete at home to get the heart rate going. Additionally, I have strength training to complete like wall push ups (which are harder than I thought they could be), bicep curls, toe touches, crunches... all with resistance bands and weights.

Most of the retraining is mental. I can definitely say that without hesitation. AND while I'm going on the record, this retraining was only the 2nd time I had completed it. Shame on me. I had the HARDEST time with those ten pound weights and the curls and the lifts and the touches, and, my arms... my arms, are still like jello.

I suppose in my desire for change I need to feel it hurt. I understand how backwards that is and how I don't need to strain or injure myself. And, maybe it will come... because earlier, my legs weren't burning or like jello... but now, oh... my... Maybe the crunches from this morning will kick in later?

My rambling for today is mostly due to the fact that I have SO much going on in my head.

Closing Thoughts:

1. I want a salad.

2. I'm looking forward to meeting back with the trainer on Friday.

3. MUST.KEEP.MOVING

4. I really need a sports bra.

5. Protein powder - to buy or not to buy?

THAT girl

I have always.always.always been THAT girl.

You know the one.

The one that tries to have it all together... that goes out... that is as sociable as possible... who does her best at everything she attempts to accomplish.

But I'm that girl... who also... well, is fat.

Let's just be honest. I'm the fat friend. I mean, that's just how it's been.

I'm not necessarily happy about that fact. But it's something that I've been for most of my life. I was never a "normal" size. I was always bigger than my friends, my classmates, girls my age/height.

It bothered me sometimes... I mean, I have feelings. But, I think the part that bugged me the most was when people didn't think I knew that I was fat. It's not like I've never owned a mirror. It's not like I never had to go to a special store or section to buy clothes to fit me. I just kind of came to some place where I was complacent. I was ok with who I was... and if you weren't then (I would think...) who needs you!

I graduated college. I got a job. I got a different job. I got a new car. I got another degree. I was in a bad relationship. I got out of said relationship. I started new degree. I got in a better relationship. I was pretty happy.

Then, I started looking at myself. I started looking at all the money that I ended up throwing down the drain each month because I was not going to a gym I was paying for. I started being affected when I saw pictures of me with dear friends at weddings, at parties and just in general.

I knew it was time for a change.

I've been a yo-yo dieter for YEARS.

Literally, years.

Before I knew it I was eating lower fat, reading everything I ate, eating more fruits and veggies and after some diligence, completely stopped drinking soft drinks.

I decided then, to actually make use of the money I was spending every month on the gym and a little over 2 weeks ago I signed up for a fitness program with the gym. (More to come on that in another post.)

This has been the best two weeks of my life... as far as getting it in order goes. Let's just take a comparison.

This was taken October 2011 -- so just a little over two months ago.

This photo is from the other night. The string I'm holding is a visual representation of the 27.5 inches that I have lost in the past 2 weeks with just changing my eating habits and following my gym program. You can tell in my face for sure that I'm losing and a little in my chest and arms.

So this is where I am. I have a visualization of what/who I want to be. I want obtainable change and I know that with perseverance and the support system I'm thankful to have, I will.not.fail. this time.